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It is with simple feigned tears
that this new Monday shall farm all kinds of mysteries
to warn me, and others,
of the coming hailstorms in July
and the shivering colds in the Equator.

I held the page in my hand so as not to miss it
- imagine a drunkard with his lonely ticket on a train
bound to Buchenwald on a foggy afternoon,
in relative silence, the birds as whispering druids
and the wind a howling wolf.

"Homeward!" some cry, and I don't know.

But, let's see:                                                [I shall play]
is it possible to reverse in this
newfound night
the old masters
who                                                              [to divert my worries]
master the old
nights, finding anew
this reversal of possibilities, it is                      [elsewhere, ha!]

- not exactly the same, try again?

Should it
be a precisely examined,
written over,
similarity in forgotten techniques,
techniques fore, gotten in similarity,
overwritten,
examined; precisely a bee;
it should be.

Better in structure; worse in wording.
The former does consume most other forms of semblance.
Would it ultimately not be better to return to fundamentals,
to create a more open space within closedness
rather than this wide room's jesterly cries,
made-up masks that hide something even narrower?

Perhaps Hannah is still a
Hannah when read counterclockwise,
the funny way to go back in time.

And, of course, still is a list;
is becomes Italian for "yes".                              [Do I digress?]

My phrases keep getting smaller.
(5)

Do they?
(2)

Really?
(1)

And then?
(2)

Have I to go back?
(5)

Or, might I venture even further?
(6)

I
(1)
could
(1)
try something
(2)
a little bit
(3)                                                     [I might]
in the more... obscure areas
(5)
of what is commonly seen as something good:
(8)
to be mathematical in your life even if you don't like it.
(13)
They say this about Bach all the time and it is really becoming a very tiring method of convincing other approaches
(21)

                                                         [break it.]
to lose their colour.

As if! Their gods are better?

Aren't we all,
in the end,
mortally divine?
It's hard for me to write such things because I've already done so in the past, multiple times; I'm afraid that they will simply sound as duplicates of the last, as petty copywork, shameless self-plagiarism, that not only their value but also their very legitimacy will be put under serious doubt.

In short, I'm afraid my words will be interpreted as lies. But they are not; nor have they been. It is very hard for me, but I am sending forth what I feel is the truth, my truth, my personal real - quite possibly a blatant falsity to others, a fallacy, a bleak outlook of my own stupidity.

But you know me, more or less. And many of you are rather close to me in your psychological constitution; you face similar struggles, seek similar answers, pose similar questions, sing similar tunes. And, I reckon, that must be what brought us close in the first place. It took me long to stomach since I was a child, but greater differences - though certainly not leading to raw violence on their own - aren't too inviting, are they?

See, this "wide" talk is kind of a security measure. I'm beating around the bush, in a way; I'm postponing things I want to say but am afraid to. 

I am sorry for being absent.
I want you to know that I was thinking of you, all of you, some more than others, but none left out.
And I missed you all.
I had some issues with myself, a kind of emotional relapse; I locked myself in, both figuratively and literally; I had a lot of trouble doing even the slightest bit of any kind of exercise. That's why I was absent.

And I feel guilty because of this very absence. 

Anyway, I hope sure most of you will understand.

Merry Christmas, everyone. It is the time of rebirth and I can only wish you health and happiness in every form.

Here's a slightly different carol:
[link]

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WilliamDallwitz's Profile Picture
WilliamDallwitz
Vasiles Karangelis
Artist | Student | Varied
Greece
Amateur composer and visual artist.
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:iconkyri-is-dark:
kyri-IS-dark Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015
happy birthday.... :)
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:iconwilliamdallwitz:
WilliamDallwitz Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Student General Artist
Merci beaucoup, mon ami! :) Missing for quite a while (as usual...) but I'll try to bridge the gap immediately. 
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:iconkyri-is-dark:
kyri-IS-dark Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
most welcome.... :)
when you say missing do you mean you disappeared and you were just found by some sort of authorities........ :)
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:iconwilliamdallwitz:
WilliamDallwitz Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Student General Artist
:lol: Nah... just sitting by life's sidewalk, briksly rocking back and forth on the chair of isolation, albeit with the smile of knowing it is hardly as heavy as it seems and the fear of others thinking I wish to escape from them - in truth, I only try to escape from a small part of myself, and only sometimes... :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconmartaraff:
martaraff Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
Thank you *:heart:*
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:iconwilliamdallwitz:
WilliamDallwitz Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Student General Artist
My pleasure! :)
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:iconpotworow:
potworow Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015
thank you so much for your christmas wishes <3 i was absent for long time, but i hope it will change ^^ happy new year : )
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:iconwilliamdallwitz:
WilliamDallwitz Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Student General Artist
I hope it will, too. Welcome back! :)
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:iconkyri-is-dark:
kyri-IS-dark Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015
thanks for allllll the favourites........ :D
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:iconwilliamdallwitz:
WilliamDallwitz Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015  Student General Artist
My pleasure! :) I think you'll like this.

Have courage, my friend. :)
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